37 Years Old...Now What?

I'm 37-years-old and things are finally clicking for me. No, I don't want to hear you complain one more time about your boyfriend. No, I don't want to hear about how much your life sucks. And no...I don't care about most of what you have to say. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that I sound a bit selfish, but this is my life, right? I am the one who has to live with me and the only one that really knows what's going on in my head, right? Right.

As I approach forty at a gingerly pace, I am realizing exactly what every other person my age has probably realized. I still have lots of room to grow. I've always known this, but there is something about getting older and listening to those a decade or more younger than myself that has made me realize that ten years from now, I may look back at myself and think of how much I still didn't know at my current age.

I'm 37...now what? I am no where near achieving anything that I had set out to accomplish. I'm not a big time author, I don't publish my own magazine, I've never owned a brand new car, and I am years away from owning my own house. Funny thing is that I am perfectly fine with all of that. You see, when I set out on my life long mission I never thought about the monkey wrench that might get thrown my way. I didn't have (dare I say this aloud and make my sister smile) a contingency plan. I never sat down and thought about what I would do just in case I got sidetracked.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have regrets because I do. I regret not realizing til now that I should have had a plan b. I regret letting motherhood overshadow my goals instead of incorporating my goals into motherhood. I regret expecting my husband to be my biggest cheerleader when I clearly should have been relying solely on myself. It's important to have someone root for you from the sidelines, but it's even more important that you root for yourself. So yes, there have been some regrets but they are now a thing of the past.

I'm 37 now. Time for me to balance everything out and look to my needs. I can't meet everyone else's needs if I am not attending to my own. From here on out, it's all about what feeds my spirit. As they say, if Momma's not happy, nobody's happy. I'm 37, I'm happy, and finally seeing peace. I can't wait to see what the new year brings my way.