Something Big Is Happening

Something is happening. Something has gathered my anger, crumpled it up, and tossed it to the side. Something has made me realize that life is so much more, that I can't possibly be bothered with the little things. This is scary. And I'm not talking about thriller movie scary. I'm talking, I am being prepared for something bigger than me and I don't know what to think or say.

Last night, I walked away from two or three hundred easy dollars. When I say easy, I mean guareenteed. As my husband and I were sitting at a stop light, a man rammed us with his nice shiny black BMW. What an asshole to be concerned with nothing more than his beautiful box of metal. There was a police officer at the corner dealing with another incident, but I told him to have a blessed night and just walked away. Still visibly upset that his seemingly prized possession was damaged through his own negligence, he didn't bother to say thank you or anything else that resembled remorse. Now, had this been another day and time I probably would have jumped at the opportunity to collect a small check. Christmas is just around the corner. My fender was dented and he jolted us enough to have gotten a few free chiropractor visits, but I walked away. I just wanted to get home and keep a promise of a good meal and homemade cookies for my girls.

On the way to the store I received a text from a very good friend of mine. I've never met her in person, we've only spoken once on the phone, but we have such a wonderful connection that I can't help but to think that God sent an angel my way. Seriously, in a life or desth situation I would trust her to know me enough to make the right decision. She wanted to inform me that some very private information of mine had made it's way to a closed knit circle I used to be a part of. Honestly, it didn't surprise me. Thinking back, it's sad that it didn't surprise me that this particular young lady felt the need to share a private family matter. I am so at peace right now that I forgive her, no questions asked. We all, at some point, share things we are entrusted with, but I thought that maybe she would understand that it was something not to be shared. I guess not.

Whatever the case, I am wide awake. I am at peace. Something big is happening and I doubt that it's something I can change. Do I even want to change it? Do I want to risk making a mountain out of a mole hill or show God that I don't trust Him? Life is bigger than me. It is bigger than everyone of us and I have learned that sometimes it's okay to walk away. I have learned that everything isn't as serious as some would like us to believe. I am growing. I am this well crafted work of art that God just keeps rearranging. I am molded by Him. Nothing I say or do can take away from the fact that He is the sculptor and I am the clay at His mercy. If nothing else in my life rings true, this surely does. I can't change it nor would I really want to. All I know is that something big is happening and I am prepared.