This Is The Year

This is the year that I am done being nice to people who think they can say whatever to me and get away with it. I'm done. There is no place in my life for people who are miserable within their own existence.
In one month I will be 37-years-old. I'm too old for arguing, biting my tongue, and holding onto people who have yet to enrich my life. I refuse to be in the presence of anything other than greatness.
The past couple of months I have been made keenly aware of my so called stubborness. So I must ask, what is wrong with wanting more for my life and the people in it? Why should I allow myself to be disrespected by people when I offer nothing but respect?
Bottom line is that I'm done with dealing with certain types of people. I will not allow myself to be disrespected. There is so much to be said in the way of manners and respect. It's lost on most people. Thank God I am raising my kids better than that.

A Little Tired

I really do want to blog today, but I am super tired.

Too Stuffed...

...to blog. Plus I have a sick child to deal with which means I'll miss class tomorrow. Grrrr. I'm going to try my best to make it to the 6am class.

The Words Will Come

First and foremost, I have to acknowledge that my inspiration for this post comes from another fellow blogger named Mell. Mell and I first became acquainted through a website named Babycenter. Although I'm no longer associated with that site, I am so grateful that I made so many beautiful connections. It opened me up in ways I'd never expected and for that, I am forever thankful.
Pardon any typos today. I am in my comfy, cozy bed blogging on my iPhone. I didn't sleep well last night because I'm an insomniac. The word come at the most random hours so I have to take advantage when I can. I should be up getting ready for my day, but the words are coming. They aren't coming at the same intensity as they were at 3 a.m. when I decided to put Musiq on repeat and create a playlist of my favorite love songs, but they are coming.
Lately, I've noticed them coming in morr palateable tones. I'm an angry poet. I write of lifes frustrations and humiliations. I write of deceit and all things that are sour, not sweet. However, lately I have noticed my words tapping more into the softer side of my spirit. The anger and resentment seem to be falling by the wayside. Soft words of love not assoctiated with one having to break free from the Devil's bond haven't been a part of my poetic moments in a spell. Could it be that the outer shell of my heart has been cracked and true love has finally made its way in? Truly, I thought I'd never see this day. Afterall, the angry poet in my has been around for at least twenty years. I never thought I'd see the day that words of love unassociated with the word tough would be a part of my life. But, it is, and I accept it.
The words will come. They are coming in due time and I will write them as they flow. I will try my best to give you the best that I have. I will try my best to give you words of purpose, hope, love, and direction.

My Intentions

My intention was to blog everyday, but that seems to be something that will not happen.  There's one me and six of them plus the cat and two turtles.  Some days are easier than others, but overall things seem to run pretty smoothly.  I started Fall cleaning that technically should have been done in the Spring, but I was too busy enjoying life.  Oh, well, I can't take back the past which if I could...I'm not sure that I would.
Anywho...I'm hoping to come back with a serious blog later.  So much is going on in my head, but when it comes time to getting down on paper it disappears.  Sucks to drive and have all of these wonderful ideas only to come home and have nothing.  I usually compose on my iPhone, but since T-Mobile doesn't support my phone (I need a newer iPhone bad) then I'm stuck with just using notes and transferring my information.  I'm hoping, for my birthday, to get a Netbook so I can have a full keyboard to work with.  The iPhone is fine, pen and paper is fine, but I'd like the option of getting my thoughts down in an instant.

Today Is the First Day...

Today is the first day of the rest of this year.  Ha!  You thought I was going to say life, didn't you.  My experiences this year have taught me a lot of different things about myself.  For starters, I didn't realize how much I didn't recognize myself.  My life has changed dramatically over the years.  This year it finally hit me that even though I've been living, I have not lived.  My life seemed to come to a stand still when I gave birth to my first child fourteen years ago.  Since she didn't live, a part of me died with her.  I know longer wanted to be all of these great things I had aspired to be.  Once I got pregnant again, all I aspired to be was a mother.  Nothing else seemed to matter at that time.
Now, here I am thirteen years after giving birth to my first home and it finally hit me. I could have been so much more than a mother.  Please don't get me wrong, I love being a mother.  However, at the end of the day when all the dishes are clean, the laundry's all folded, and the kids have been tucked into bed, what is there left for me to do?  Oh yeah, being a wife and performing wifely duties. lol  Don't get me wrong, after all of those duties have been fulfilled then what's left to do. Go to sleep.  Then, five hours later (if I'm lucky) I can wake up and do it all over again without so much as an hour of me time.
Some mother's would like you to believe that we don't need me time.  Bullshit!  How else are you supposed to function and grow if your life stops at the moment you became a mother?  You can't.  While some people love holding on to that one title forever, I can't.  I know in my heart that I am meant to do more than just shuttle my girls from one place to the next.  At some point, I realized that it was time to do something for myself and I did.
After I get my four older girls to school and drop my husband off at work (Lord I can't wait until we replace his car), my three year old and I head to the gym.  This is my time.  It gives her time to play with those awesome kids (as she affectionately calls them) and me time to grow.  This has been a fabulous year of sweat.  It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much health and fitness has affected all areas of my life.

**For the time being, please forgive any grammatical errors.  Every 45 seconds one of my kids says my name.  Sometimes it's the same kid over and over.  I promise that I will work on my sentence structure and all that other stuff later.  Thanks!