Today Is the First Day...

Today is the first day of the rest of this year.  Ha!  You thought I was going to say life, didn't you.  My experiences this year have taught me a lot of different things about myself.  For starters, I didn't realize how much I didn't recognize myself.  My life has changed dramatically over the years.  This year it finally hit me that even though I've been living, I have not lived.  My life seemed to come to a stand still when I gave birth to my first child fourteen years ago.  Since she didn't live, a part of me died with her.  I know longer wanted to be all of these great things I had aspired to be.  Once I got pregnant again, all I aspired to be was a mother.  Nothing else seemed to matter at that time.
Now, here I am thirteen years after giving birth to my first home and it finally hit me. I could have been so much more than a mother.  Please don't get me wrong, I love being a mother.  However, at the end of the day when all the dishes are clean, the laundry's all folded, and the kids have been tucked into bed, what is there left for me to do?  Oh yeah, being a wife and performing wifely duties. lol  Don't get me wrong, after all of those duties have been fulfilled then what's left to do. Go to sleep.  Then, five hours later (if I'm lucky) I can wake up and do it all over again without so much as an hour of me time.
Some mother's would like you to believe that we don't need me time.  Bullshit!  How else are you supposed to function and grow if your life stops at the moment you became a mother?  You can't.  While some people love holding on to that one title forever, I can't.  I know in my heart that I am meant to do more than just shuttle my girls from one place to the next.  At some point, I realized that it was time to do something for myself and I did.
After I get my four older girls to school and drop my husband off at work (Lord I can't wait until we replace his car), my three year old and I head to the gym.  This is my time.  It gives her time to play with those awesome kids (as she affectionately calls them) and me time to grow.  This has been a fabulous year of sweat.  It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much health and fitness has affected all areas of my life.

**For the time being, please forgive any grammatical errors.  Every 45 seconds one of my kids says my name.  Sometimes it's the same kid over and over.  I promise that I will work on my sentence structure and all that other stuff later.  Thanks!