My Life and My Life Alone

If you are a part of my life, good or bad, I will fight protecting you til the end.  It's not necessarily because you are worthy of my protection.  Rather, I feel that everyone has some level of good in them and that that portion of their lives should be preserved.  However, there comes a point when that protection ends and I am open to letting the world have its way with you.

Yesterday, though brief, I spoke about being done with those who don't add any level of enrichment to my life.  I understand wanting to be or sound profound, but there is a time and place for everything.  I understand wanting to be seen as the rational one, but again, there is a time and place for everything.  Though I typically like to keep my life private, I am open to allowing certain people into my world.  I'm leery of family members poking their nose into my business, but I tried something new this year.  EPIC FAIL!!  I tried it in my personal life as well and learned that if it ain't broke, don't even bother changing it.  My life is my life.  It doesn't belong to anyone else other than my Creator.  He alone is the one to judge me.  Yet, I'm finding that people feel it's okay to critique and criticize me and my family.

Let me start by saying that I have been married to my husband for twelve and a half years.  Together we are raising five beautiful girls who are proving to be a joy and a pain.  I stay at home and take care of the girls while my husband works hard to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table.  It's just us taking care of family.  We get no outside financial assistance nor do we get any assistance with raising our girls. We are far from being financially rich, but we are comfortable.  There are years when life is hard and we don't have much to offer in the way of material things for our girls.  There are times like now that we can spoil them rotten.  I can't understand for the life of me why anyone would choose to find fault in our situation.  I can't understand why anyone would choose to criticize our children when I've done nothing of the sort to them. It happened yesterday, but  I'm okay with it because this is my life and my life alone.

For God knows how many years I bit my tongue.  Nine times out of ten I am going to choose the high road even though I almost didn't choose it yesterday. I choose the high road for a number of reasons.  For starters, it's the right thing to do.  At the end of the day, what have I gained by bringing someone down to my level?  Nothing.  It's not in my nature to make people feel bad about themselves or their situations.  It's not in my nature to bring you down.  Aside from it not being in my nature, it's just not in my place.  I would never intentionally do anything to hurt anyone, yet, for so long I have found myself at the other end of the stick.

I'll be honest, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.  I'm more of a poet than a blogger.  I know I need to work on sentence structure, transitions and all that other stuff.  Once upon a time I was a perfectionist at heart, but I know that if I go back to being that person, all of my thoughts and feelings will continue to be pent up inside.  Lord only knows what would happen if I ceased to voice myself.  I would probably end up as a Lifetime Movie of the Week.  Wait, who am I fooling?  My husband doesn't piss me off enough to kill him so that wouldn't happen. lol  I'm just a woman finding my way in the world without losing my mind.  It's hard enough making it through my day being as happy as I am right now.  However, I refuse to go back to the days that were saddled with other peoples misery.